Conor Power.

Says I need to stop writing drunk things on facebook. And hes probably right.See my problem is when I get drunk I think theres nothing better than to go on facebook and abuse the poor people who happen to be online. Or send strange messages to unsuspecting people. I hate waking up in the morning after a rough night and looking at my sentbox on my phone. Sometimes drunk me deleted them so sober me wont be angry.
Makes sense.
I am super excited for tomorrow:) Not only is it new years but a unreliable source told me theres gonna be waves tomorrow.I think hes just trying to convice me to go surfing and die. Eh hum conor power? Fail.com.
Adrianne one of my old school friends is coming out with me tomorrow night. We used to get kicked out of maths together and she locked the vice principal in the supplys closet. Needless to say we were both kindly asked to not return to the school the following year. I've missed her loads and cant wait to go mad with her like it was 2005 all over again. Haha. Hopefully fathead Helene will come out too with the video camera so tomorrow ill be able to see how much of a complete mess I was. Its never fun not remembering things.
Okay im gonna go chat to Sandy. God help me.

Confession cam.

Me and Helene are just back from dundrum. We attempted to get new years clothes but that didnt go to well. Were back home now.
I was just talking to my mum, my grandad is back in hospital and shes really sick.
Great. Means i gotta go home now and sort shit out. Plus go through town with my surfboard and about 100 bags. In the rain.
All my plans right now never seem to work out anymore. I was supposed to go to Tbay today because the surf was puming then go to japanese popstars tonight with peoples. But we couldnt go down because the weather is to bad and Helenes parents moaned at her. Im so confused about so much right now. I hate not knowing what i want anymore.
Not to be a complete moanbag but the last few days have been alright. Since just before christmas things started looking up i supposed. Its sooo weird to think that this time last year i was living in town like going out and drinking loads everynight. Im a good girl now. Hopefully im gonna get a job soon so i can move out. Im undecided as to where i wanna go anymore, im starting to see the upside of living in Dublin and that theres not that many assholes as i originally thought.


Helene got this little digital camcorder for christamas off her brother and shes been following me around with it and recording everything. Some of the shit shes has recorded is priceless. Really funny like i cant wait to see how she gets on editing the first video.
Its new years tomorrow and hopefully im going to andrews lane with the girls which should be really good. Im excited but a lil bit nervous at the same time to see how things actually work out. I hate they uncertainty of things and not knowing how other people feel or what they are thinking.
Anwyay enough bullshit.
K bai

Confused?

I hate being woken up in the middle of deadly dreams.
Why would my parents even think that I would want to walk up a mountain today. Eh no.
I do want to do something today tho. I dont just wanna sit around the house getting fat.
Im gonna go for a run in a bit. Might make me feel a little bit better. Fuckin Australia woke me up at nine this morning. Seriously like I would have definatly slept for two days. I still feel shit after going mad the past few days. Oh and now its raining. Thanks god. Prick.
Im actually dyin for a surf so bad. Im half temped to jump on a bus somewhere and stay there until next year. Gotta love being places where noone cares about you or knows who you are. Lifes so much easier then.
I honestly couldnt be bothered writing anymore.
Peace x

Last night?

I am actually still in shock that last night even happened.
Honestly, it was the most random night of my life and i didnt want it to end ever ever ever.
Ill never be able to look at bank of ireland or men the same. Haha.

Anyway, Started of me being a loser and drinking in my house then getting the bus into town and going for cocktails with Fathead. We had the chats and got perved on by some creep loner man drinking guiness in the corner or hardrock. There was also a group of annoying freaks on the other side of the place and me and helene got drunk and started shouting LEAVE at them. We walked up to some shithole after that and on the way some junkie asked me did i wanna get a kilo of gear and run off with him. I kindly refused his offer. Haha anyway when we got to the place we stayed for like two seconds, then we got into a taxi back down to temple bar. The taxi was the best thing of my life. Im not even joking there were strobe lights and lasers and Tvs on the inside of it and yer man the driver was playing bangin' tunes. Me and helene almost had a epileptic fit. Anyway after we went to the button factory and helene only stayed a little while and then left but i stayed with some old mates. Was so fucked up at this stage. Yer man from the optilase ad on tv was there. It wa possibly the funniest thing ever. Anyway me and some dudes went outside to do something and we saw some woman fall off a bike. I actually couldnt belive it actually happened, I though I was just trippin balls and imagining it. We couldnt stop laughing. When we were going back in we saw Optilase man crying outside and we tried talking to him but he told us to fuck off. Hes such a bold fuckers. Im gonna rat on him to optilase.
HA.
After loadsa dancing and dropping when we left the button factory we walked up to mcdonalds. Me and Alex thought it was the funniest thing ever running upto random people and making explosion sounds. Now that i think about it, people must have thought we were complete freaks. Anway we finally got to macdonalds and the boys got food and alex kept choking because he forgot how to chew. His eyes were going wonky too and he wouldnt sit in his highchair and he kept running off. After that Alex finally went home somehow. And me and Keith sat outside bank of Ireland and had a beer. Some man came up and started chatting to us randomly. He was a dirty old fucker. After him two more lads from Cavan joined us and we were all chatting and smoking and having the laugh. Then this other fucker joined up and whipped out a hipflask of whisky and we all sat there outside bank of ireland in the middle of dame street. Was actually the funniest night ever. The horsebox gang.
We sat there untill half six in the morning and then everyone finally went home. Me and keith(judas) walked around a bit then we got taxis home. I just got in as my parents were getting up for work. Which is never ever a good thing. I tried to sleep but just sat there trippin balls in bed. I finally got to sleep then some fucker calls me and wakes me up. Haha I love my wake up calls:)
Anyway I still feel so rough after last night. Cant wait to get into bed tonight and get new things tomorrow:)
Cant wait to see everyone again on stephens day.
Still no plans for new years, Might go to sligo. Still kinda undecided.
Oh well anyway.
Such an amazing night im not gonna forget anytime soon:)
Happy christmas ya bleedin' bitches:)

.

Craig Butler thinks im sad and gay.
I think he may be right.

Loner Alco Club.

Got very drunk last night....
Yep. Went out for my grannys birthday and ended up getting pissed and going out with my aunties. Had a deadly night tho.
Im feeling the pain today. Gotta go to Bundy tomorrow and move all my shit outta the house. Not so keen on the whole camping in Easkey anymore. I dunno someones gonna have to come up with a pretty good reason to make me go. Hahha i can think of a few myself.
But im not gonna talk about them. Im babysitting tonight. Which is cool i love those kids. We'll get chipper and watch 18s movies even tho the kids are 5 and 7.
All's good. Kinda glad I havent gone out in town in so long. I dont miss it one bit.
Surfing and Pubs are kinda my life right now.
Fuck my life im so hungry. Cant wait for fatty food later.
Im really sorry im to retardedly hungover to even string a sentence together.

K bai.

I hate Graham.
Nobody buy anything in the Quiksilver shop... ever.
HES A FAIL.

Love list.

Sligo.
Flannel.
Warm hoodies.
Hats.
Ghosts.
Bones.
Baby Waves.
Roxy boots.
Incubus.
Katy Perry.
Facebook inbox.
My puppy.
Wake up calls.
Bundoran adventures.
New years.
Cuddles.
Sundown surfing.
Easkey.
Movies.
Boys Clothes.
Current Swell.
Sublime.
NOT lady gaga.
Its the internet...were not really friends.

Thats definatly not okay...

Its snowing. Not that it matters but it is.

Went to try and buy a dress today for new years. Had no luck whatsoever. Seems like i've forgotten how to shop. Maybe now i can save some money and get the fuck out of here. So bored these days living back in Dublin with no surf and no sound people.

Cant wait till march so i can move away again.

Found the dress i want online. But then i decided i dont want it anymore.

Fuck sake.

All i can hear is my bro shouting at COD, and givin out to me for playin music. I really dont know how much loner i can stay in this shit city, I miss my freedom and the surf soo bad.

Ever since ive come back to Dublin theres been nothing but shit happening. I was really looking forward to camping next week in Easkey and catchin up with everyone but I dont think im going to go now. So im stuck in Dublin once again for the run upto christmas, my least favorite time of year.

It never fails to amaze me the way people in Dublin carry on.

People taking a freaker and then thinking everythings cool the next day after they said loadsa shit? I really dont need this at all.

Im proud of myself though for not reacting most of them time, i guess the time away from home and my mum has chilled me out so much. I dont know why people bother starting shit over nothing. I havent been out in so long so im really looking forward to going out new years and getting smashed. I've tried to be good over the past month or so because ive been training so much for my exams, which i probably wont pass anyway but it feels good to be fit.

Right now i really wanna concentrate on improving my surfing and getting good and maybe compete next year. Probably not. I cant see myself surfing in comps and still being chill. After all im like the most competitive person in the world and i go really hard on myself when i dont think im good enough at something. In the past two years when i stopped playing hockey for leinster ive gotten so lazy when it comes to pushing myself. Defo gotta do something about that.

Its been super cold the past few days, nearly to cold to get into the water. I've just been stayin in and playing with the puppy and listening to Sublime.

My obsession with Flannel is getting so bad now.

Its all i've asked for for xmas:):)

Hatin'

Decided to make a list of things i really dont like at the moment.
Lady Gaga
Moshspace losers
People recording themselves singing and making bebo profiles for everyone to see especially when they are CRAP
Christmas
Dublin drama
People not takin a hint
My chemical Romance
Stupid people
Girls shaving their hair EW like
Farmville
Lurkers and Creeps
Clingers
Having no money
No oil
Stupid boys
Being in Dublin
Slaggggs

2 bottles of wine later...

Winters here:(
The only things that are getting me through the days are Surfing, Drinking, Sick tunes and friends.
I havent written in a bit because blogs are totally gay but i love being able to read over shit from ages ago.
Anyway last week was horrible, I hit it hard surfing the reef off rossnowlagh. Not so nice I completly phyced myself out after getting caught on the inside and takin a beating. I came back to Dublin later that day because I was so freaked.
Its my last week in Bundy next week, Kinda sad I really dont wanna come back to Dublin and all the shit that comes with it.
I've been lookin around at new gaffs and i found a sick wee place in Easkey in Sligo that would be perfect. I dont know though, I dont really know anyone up that direction but that doesn't really bother me. I've gotten so chill in the past few months not much bothers me anymore.
Christmas is pretty soon too. which im defo not looking forward too. Its stupid everyone pretending they like each other and shit. We usually go away to france for chritmas but not this year recession timezz. So i wont be rippin it up on the slopes this year, instead ill be sitting eating pizza with the family because i refuse to eat christmas dinner.
Christmas is gross, someone adopt me and bring me home for christmas:) Ill probably just get wankered and embarass my family.
Its so weird that this time last year i was in hospital. Ughh doesnt even bear thinking about.

Last night was cool helene drove over here really late and we went on a adventure, we ended up in eddie rockets being interviewed by the garda, Some scumbags tried to run away without payin the bill and in the process helene got locked out of eddie rockets and the nacker man smashed the glasss and punched his chick in the face. Normal day in dublin. Then we went home and drank two bottles of wine and helene passed out in the toilet so being the good friend i am i made her a bed of towels and went to bed myself.NOT untill after i had stupidly sent drunk facebook messages to certain people. Im definatly a failure.
Anyway im at home now still reeking of drink, Just had dominos which made my day like ten times better:)
All i need now is some babe to come online and talk to me then my day would be perfect:)Back To Bundy tomorrow:)
Peace
x

200Euro

Bra boys
Orange Juice
777
Puppys
Sublime
Cocktails
Cuddles
Volcom
Flannel
Hoodies
Damian Marley
Holidays
Absolut Vodka
The viper
Bones

Bundoran.

Been a while aye?

Fuck dont even know where to start so much shit has happened since i last even looked at this crap.
Im living down in Donegal now, Which is sick.
Getting away from Dublin was the best decision i have ever made.
Met some amazing people here and around too;)
Im living in a sick house with chillas. Well chris is anyway, Smelly not so much.
But shussh. Haha.
Mjs all big now, killing the other two dogs as usual. Nothing new there. The last few weeks have been kinda crappy apart from when helene came down and we tore apart the house and bundoran town.
Damiens been away in hawaii(jealouz) but hes back in a few days which im totally stoked for. The next few weeks should be nice.
Almost finished this course too, been getting loads of work in too. Doin lessons and crap gets boring tho but sure anythings better than being misrable inDublin.
Last weekend was halloween, i chilled with my homies.
YO KATZ. haha was deadly to catch up with her and pia and have the laughs.
Looking forward to going home this weekend and chillin with Helene since i had a super crap week and need to have a bg bitch.
Haha.


Winter is defo here, It snowed here today and we were with some group climbing. Death. And of course we had to stay outside through it all.
The house is freezing too and the wind keeps blowing the fire out. Cant wait to hop into my new clean bed with my electric blanket and waste another night reading crappy books and waiting for the week to end.
Yeoowww boy:):)

3:45

I just realised i have not written in ages.
Tough times. Im back from brazil, Things didn't work out over there and My boyfriend and I decided to call it quits after a rediculous amount of time and shit. So much shit has gone down over the past what like two months since I got back. Im just chillin't waiting on september to come so I can piss off somewhere else again.
The past few weeks have been real lonely and I always seem to find myself sitting in on a friday night reading books on forensic anthropology more and more. Im a creep I want to be Dr Temperence Brennan and marry a man who wears shirts and cuts down trees and look at bones all day.

My parents felt sorry for me when I came home so they bought me a puppy, Shes rad. Shes a springer spanial and 11 weeks old now, shes totally badass and shes my baby.
Who needs a boyfriend when you can have puppys.
I called her Mj, obvs not after jako but those who like a bitta smoke will completly understand.
Since I got back things have been super hard, But I have been having such a laugh.
I cant sleep now, but i cant wait for tomorrow, its gonna be sickk.
Im gonna go take some sleepers.
Night
3.53

Fred Durst.

Why do I love you so?

Ugh im really annoyed, and im bored. I finished Crash bandicoot for psp now what the fuck am I supposed to do?

Im such a freak, im watching all of limp bizkits videos from Download, wishing I was there.

Its been so long since I have written, its been my birthday and shit so I´ve been kinda busy.

Just chillin´now, waiting to head home to go to college, which i got into by some miracle of god.

Insane

It is official.
I have gone insane again. Im sittin here bymyself, like i have to do everyday trying to figure out ways to get us home.
You fucking hypocrites. Dont sit there and pass remarks when you have obvs done the same thing around. Your in no place to judge me.
Im sick off this bullshit and the fact i had to leave my country because of the abuse i was getting. I would understand if it was maybe a year ago, but it wasnt we all do stupid ass things when were young. I hope the people responsable feel like they have achieved something in ruining my life. So pathetic.
What makes it worse is that my little brother wont get the bus to school anymore because hes scared what the guys will say or do to him. All his friends have seen it. Its starting to affect my family. And thats not something im gonna let happen. Whatever about me i dont care, say what you want about me, but when it comes to my family, they dont deserve to suffer because of a mistake i made 3 years ago.
So please, grow up and stop talking about it. Its old news.
And karmas a fucking bitch.

Shocking.

We just finished watching the ruins.
At first i thought it was gonna be awesome. But it was not awesome, or rad, or even cool.
Today was okay, sat around did nothing, as usual ate delish food and watched movies. And didnt wake up till 4.
Now im playing some game called Granny in paradise, my life couldnt be better.
Looks like we heading home in late july, im hopefully starting my course in September, which means i will be living in Bundoran for 4 days per week training as a life guard and surf instructer, gnarly.
Of course sleepy boyfriend will be there too, making music and dollaz.
Its so weird the amount of places i have lived, and im still only a baba.
Cork, Clare, Mayo, Dublin, Brazil and now Donegal.
At least i will be in ireland, but out of dublin, and doing something i love.
Tomorrow should be lovely nd wonderful, were going to the cinema.
Im hungry wah wah wah wah

Prozac.

Delish.
I was just thinking about when i was in hospital.
And all the shit thats gone on the past few years. John of gods is definatly not a place you want to end up.
Just thinking back to this time two years ago makes me shudder.
I was a mess, things have only started getting back on track in the past 10 months, and i think i have my wonderful boyfriend to thank for that. To an extent anyway. To call him something so meaningless as my boyfriend is an insult.
Over the past 10 months he has been everything to me, my brother, my best friend, my shouder to cry on, my person to shout at and now, my family.
He´s sleeping now, i cant because i slept all day. We went for dinner and then came home got into bed and watched life is beautiful and the ruins. Which i really enjoyed, i have a strange obsession with Mayan culture.
Last night we watched premonition and carandiru, a sick movie about a brazilian prison. Another weird obsession of mine.
Prisons.
Everything to do with prisons.
The gangs, the culture, the storys, the police.
I love love love it.
When i was in Ireland i couldnt get enough of those prison documentarys that were always on.
Locked up, Lockdown, Behind bars, Women behind bars, there all just to delish.
Its my dream to be a prison warden or work with the police, Actually speaking of which.


The police here are complete dicks. The force is so fucked there has to be other police to keep the police in order. The majority of the military police are corrupt. Planting drugs in innocent cars then demanding bribes, then confiscating the drugs and snorting and smoking it in broad daylight. No thanks.
The all have guns and just shoot anyone and everyone. Drug trafficing is a huge problem and you cant trust anyone in this country.
So fucked up that i cant walk down the street at night without being mugged or raped or worse. I cant even talk in english in public because if some guys find out im not brazilian im fucked.

I want to come home, but im scared. After all the shit thats been going down over the past few months im scared to show my face in that fucking country again.
I miss my family something hateful.I wish i could just sit and chat with my mum right now. Were thinking of coming home in september, im going to do an outdoor education instructer course, to teach people how to surf and skate an all that shit.
I love all that outdoor stuff. Its really something that i wanna do.
Fuck college.

Now i 100% cant go to bed, there aint no space.
He´s taking up all the bed, all 6´2 of him. Bastard.
Haha its too funny. Hes on this muscle building diet. Hes not eating any carbs.
Dinner was so funny i had loads of delsih rice and chips and a nice cold brahma.
And all he could eat is salad and lean meat.
Poor baby. I think were going to the gym tomorrow. Im going to school him as usual:) Before that though im gonna go relax by the pool and work on my tan while he´s at work.

My life is too delsih.
Thank you prozac

Hate.

Some peoples attitude.
So apperently this is my blog full of lies and bullshit, funny that people think i would waste my time to write loads of shit that NO-ONE reads and NO-ONE cares.
I didnt ask for anyones opinion. If you have shit to say, dont bother reading and making up your own assumptions.
I write this for myself, noone else.
This isnt a diary, its something for me to remember and look back on when i want.
Keep your shit to yourself, i dont care anymore.
Why should i?Im on the otherside of the world having the time of my life, when your resenting everyday you spend in that fucking city.
Its killing you, and you dont have the courage to get away, your stuck in your crap life.
And ill just stand back and laugh as it slowly eats away at your peace of mind.

dont bother

readng if your just gonna take the piss.
stay the fuck away from me your scenester bastards.
you think what you have is real.
ill leave you to find out for yourself.
byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

eaeee

Im just waiting to go out and watch the match, another perfect day gone bye.
I miss my family a little now.
Its really funny, murilos drivers licence is expired and his parents wont let him drive, so hes really angry.
Its his dads birthday today, and all his family were over, again.
There all so so nice.
Not really looking forward to tomorrow, murilo is working. Muito bosta.
Its definatly to hot for jeans, im stupid.
Im sitting here with the fan on and im roasting. It was like 34degrees today. Super hot. I really wanna go swimming but murilo was working today, but it was grand i just chilled with his sister all day. And his mum, whos the funniest person ever.
His dad is the biggest hero i have ever met in my life, he´s drinking whisky and is crazy, same as his son.

Limeira.

I have not felt so stoked on life in ages.
Brazil is amazing.
I dont miss anything about shitty ireland!
ciao

Loco.

Hey creeps.
Im sitting in paris airport waiting for my flight to brazill!
Holy Fuck i just saw the metro, i didnt even know that it exsisted. Only in the simpsons.
I decided to buy loads of chanel makeup and facecream, what a waste of money.oh well i dont five a shit im going to brazil.fuckeveryone.
I have to pee and want a fag, they have these cute little smoking rooms here.I wanna stay forever.
I went to town yesterday and me and mu went wild, i got delish new shoes and bikinis and stuff.
no other news really apart from the creep sitting beside me. Be gone.
I miss holly babe, im freaked i didnt get to say bye to anyone really.
Oh well as i said before.IM GOING TO BRAZIL hello tan.
Im super excited because mu said hes gonna buy me a pink bmx and im gonna roll 'round the hood on that shit.
ahhhhhhhhhhhh im to excited.kill me now i gotta pee.
ciaociao

Fuck everyone.

I went shopping today for brazil:D.
Ten days and im fucking out of here mannnn!
I bought loads of delish summer clothes and im going to get my injections tomorrow so i dont get some gross tropical disese.
Everything is so sound at the moment, apart from past problems being brought up again and snakey ''friends''.
Fuck off like i dont care about anything anymore, fuck everyone in this stupid city.

Bold little girl.

I've been so stressy over the past couple of weeks, Trying to get everything sorted for my big adventure.
Murilos moving in here on Thursday, untill we go to brazil.
It's all rather exciting. I haven't been going out at all, i have been working and saving my dollaz so i can be rich in Brazil. i cant wait to lie on the beach and get black. I've also been running and exercising loads so i can be hot. Im so shallow, but to be totally honest i dont really care what i look like its more something to pass the time.LIES LIES LIES.
I cant belive were going in less than a month. Its crazy. I doubt anyone will even notice im gone.

The past few weeks i've been looking after my amazing goddaughter and her brother, I havent been this relaxed in so so long. Its amazing, For me anyway. I've been reluctant to go out anymore, im scared some dope will ruin my happy buzz.
I really havent written in ages, but i've been real sick too. I had to stay in bed all day on St Patricks day. Mu bought me loads of chocolate and mags and left me to relax. So much better than being in poxy town.
Im going to bed to read my amazing book.
Most pointless blog entry ever.

My mum thinks my boyfriend is hot.LOL

Oh Shit.

Okay. Today was the worst day of my life.for sure.definatly.
But all is okay. Im getting mizzonis, Which makes me very happy.
I got kicked out of my house. For the first time in like two years.
Amusement. Im a silly silly girl

Sooner than I first thought.

I guess im going sooner than I first thought. We wanna get there before Murilo's dad birthday.
We were told to just bring ourselves and Irish whisky, Such a nice family:)
Its super sad i've almost completed guitar hero. I was hoping I would never have to live this day:(
Over the past few weeks ive got so many new delish clothes, me and holly have been living like kings:)

I've just realised how stupid I am writing everything about my life on the internet.
Thanks Mu.
Haha

Sad days.

Theres no words for how im feeling today, Im sick,tired and so sad. I lost something today. Something I didnt even know I had. Something that could have changed my life competly. Im heart broken, But I have hope.

This weekend has been a huge turning point in my life. Huge.

Im moving away in june. Sooner than I though but I need to take this oppertunity before it passes me by.

Sitting in the hospital today for four hours all i could think about was everything ill be leaving behind, Im so glad to be getting away from everything and everyone. Im so excited.

New life, New place, New people but ill still have the best person in the world holding my hand and taking it all in with me.

Im sad, im going to bed. I need this day to be over.

Snap snap.

Hmm, I dont really remember the last few days, i havent been feeling great. Sooooooooo yesterday i went nuts and bought a load of new clothes. Lots of cute dresses to make me feel better. Lala la. Im tired, i didnt really sleep last night i stayed up worrying about things that dont need worrying about. I found out today that Murilo lost his job too, which is super sad. Its okay though, It mean i get to spend more time with him now. Although, im sitting in the gaff now but i have no idea where he is, hes probably upstairs doing boys stuff. Im to lazy to go look. Today i was in the shop and two scarey brazilian guys followed me around, i was quite frightened, I speak okay portuguese so i understood most of the thinks they were saying which made me even more scared. They also rammed their trolly into me at the till. I can never leave the house alone again.

Last weekend was pretty uneventful, did nothing friday night, babysat on saturday night and watched loads of delish kids movies.
Nims island is amazing.

Someone just asked me to look after their chicken thats in the oven, i keep checking on it every 5 seconds, like when the fuck am i supposed to know when chickens done, i dont eat it or ever cook it. I hope they get food poisening and die. They deserve it after making me look after their stupid chicken. Awwh im so lonely, my boyfriend is gone and victor is in bed to i cant have the laugh with him.
Were going to the social welfare office tomorrow to get the doll, well try anyways. Im still looking for a job, i really need one, freedom is calling.

I dont know why but bosco just popped into my head, i miss him and want to see him soon, we had the laugh in mayo and after i moved back here we kinda lost touch. Which is really sad because he is defo one of my favorite people. He wants me to move back down but i dont know. I would be leaving so so much behind, and things are pretty good here at the moment, ill catch up with him during the week i guess.

I can not wait to sleep.
MURILO COME HOMEEEEEE

Wish you were here.

Im sitting here listening to the cover of wish you were here, by fred durst and the guy from the goo goo dolls.
Its really really lovely. I have had it on repeat for ages now, the original is my favorite song. Im not feeling all to awesome, I dont know. It feels like something has changed with us. I don't know im scared more than anything.

Peoples attitudes have sucked the past few days, One of the guys here had a go at me for absolutly no reason, he apologised, but its not enough you know? I had an awful day yesterday i almost lost two of the most important things in the world. I was convinced i was gonna have to go back to hospital. My mum and murilo are the best people ever. They made it better. The last week has been the worst in a while. I dont feel myself. Im so so scared of losing things, i dont think people realise how much i need them. Last night if i hadn't had Mu in bed with me telling me everything is gonna be okay i dont know what i would have done, Im so lucky. I just wish i could tell people how much they mean to me, but i cant find the words. I dont think they even exist. Im sitting here so confused. Noone has done anything i just dont know what to do with myself. Im scared of my thoughts and the way my mind is carrying on. Im tired. Theres so much i want to say, but im just not bothered right now. Actions speak louder than words, Definatly.
Lets just seem what happends.

Love you.

Weekend.

Was delish and lovely.
Saturday was chill, Sunday was rad, we went to the aquarium. My favorite place in the world. We were going to go to the zoo but it was closed. Secretly I was super excited to go to Bray. Fuck the zoo.
We got super super baked on the way to Bray in the car.
Anyways we got there and all that, sadly i ruined everyones pictures because i was toooooooo high. Me and Dearbhla got into that kiddies ball pit at the end and had the time of our lives. After we left we went for a walk on the beach and went to the shittest posh chipper ever and i had a fight with the manager because he forgot half our food. NEVER AGAIN.Then we drove home and got drunk and had great chats.
I got home about two hours ago and i was in my room smoking the pipe and my little bro came in and started smoking with me, then my dad, then my mum.
Haha:)

Crazy

Yesterday was act ually horrible.HORRIBLE.
I dont even want to go into details.
Gross gross gross.
But its nice to have everything out in the open, especially when it doesnt effect peoples perception of me. Its rad to be loved.Haha.

Today was nice, just chilled around town, then met Mu after work. He was very angryyyyy.
But now everything is fine. Im real sad because i dont have any sleepers for tonight, which means i gotta get super high before sleep.
No work tomorrow is lovely.
piss
BYE

Today was the best day of my life.

Not really but it was super exciting because Mu bought a huge Hookah and we just sat around smoking apple tabacco all day. You should have seen how happy i was.

Were going to collect Victor from the airport soon. Everyone just got tonnes of weed and there all so stoked. Its really quite endearing.

Last night was to LOL. I got into a stupid fight with some horrid little girl, Its okay because i won, Defo.

It was all really childish but when she said a certain thing i flipped. Like complete rage blackout. It was not cool or rad.

A day to remember were great though, i was super excited to see them and they almost completly let me down by not playing the plot to bomb the panhandle. Andy and i were almost really sad. But then it was all okay.

Somehow i got bold lavander and camomile washing powder in my eyes while washing clothes. I really dont know how it happened, But its so sad. My eyes are all red and crying. But im sure they smell nice....Em.

Im really looking forward to the summer. Im pretty adament on moving away. Last night really was an eye opener on how shit this city and people are. Whatever like, Im so over it all.

My mum fixed my shit vans too, They dont hurt my feet anymore which is pretty rad.

Thats how exciting my life is.

Also on my sleeping trip i pulled out the implant in my arm with a tweezers and dont remember anything. I just woke up with blood all over my arm, it was delish.

The last few days have been hard, Im tired and cant wait to sleep. Now sadly im listening to 50cent,WHAT UP GODDD.

Too good.

Yes, i wrote two blogs today.

Piss.
I totally forgot to have the laugh about my sleeping pattern.
For the past two weeks i have been on really heavy sleeping tablets. Im the scarest person ever.
I take them and ten minutes later i can`t walk and have to be helped to bed. Its actually too funny i sleep talk and have really vivid dreams and actually have full converstaions with awake people. Im nuts.
I sat up in bed and started asking Murilo who he was and where the fuck am I. I got up and tripped over the washing line. I also took out my nose piercing leading to a lovely infection, But i remember nothing.NOTHING.
This morning i was unconciously telling him to leave me alone and go to work. I keep having to be put back to bed because im sleepwalking.
I should have one of those lead things the put on kids when they try escape. I clearly have one buried deep in my childhood stuff.
Ill call my Mum tomorrow and ask her to find it for me.
My safety is seriously at risk.
Haha

Letting the team down.

Im tired.
People are shit, seriously. I can´t believe the way some people carry on.
Its not going to matter all too much this time next year, because i wont be here i will be somewhere delish and sunny with amazing people.
Well some anyway.
I´m starting to see fault in my behaviour, I cant let go of the past.
I dont know whey i find it so hard but its holding me back so so much.

I went back to hospital on friday night. For anyone who knows me they know they´ll know what im talking about.
It was super hard seeing those girls again. I dont think anybody has any idea what

went on fully. Its not something i like talking about but i think its such a issue these days with so many people it should be talked about more.
But im not ready just yet.
For now love is whats keeping me going.
I´m finally able to feel how lucky i am.
LOVE YOUUUUU
:)

Sei La.

Alright lads..

Im so happy!

The last few days have been unreal, Yesterday i brought my goddaughter, Charlie to town. I should never have kids, i lost her about 4 times and that was only in MacDonalds. She was super stoked and i bought her loads of new clothes and a happy meal, Because i was feeling generous. Sitting at the table in MacDonalds we were chatting away and some fatty walked by, i didnt know 4 year olds could be so harsh. ´KATIE THAT LADY IS FAT, MORE FAT THAN MY MUMMY´. Fuck that like. Shes going through the i dont want to wear girls clothes phase So it was clearly the hardest thing to buy for her ever, im scared shes turning emo. She loves hello kitty.NO THANKS. After my dutys I met Mu after work and he bought me loads of stuff, Fuck vans, there hurting my feet so bad. I think i may die. Today, Murilo and I went to the bodies ehxibition in The Ambassador. Hello Gross.

I was super freaked out going in, but it was actually okay. Not that seeing dead chinese people is my thing , but whatever.

My mum loved it, WEIRD BITCH. It was not nice seeing the smokers lungs, it made me wanna stop.

They had a super big box that people had thrown their fags in after seeing the absolute delishness of black lungs. I could only think about how many lovely smokes were wasted.

After we went for something to eat and got the best bree i have ever tasted.

But this is all totally irrelevent to anything.

Anyways, Fights are stupid im going to bed.

osso says:
you are very cool