Prozac.

Delish.
I was just thinking about when i was in hospital.
And all the shit thats gone on the past few years. John of gods is definatly not a place you want to end up.
Just thinking back to this time two years ago makes me shudder.
I was a mess, things have only started getting back on track in the past 10 months, and i think i have my wonderful boyfriend to thank for that. To an extent anyway. To call him something so meaningless as my boyfriend is an insult.
Over the past 10 months he has been everything to me, my brother, my best friend, my shouder to cry on, my person to shout at and now, my family.
He´s sleeping now, i cant because i slept all day. We went for dinner and then came home got into bed and watched life is beautiful and the ruins. Which i really enjoyed, i have a strange obsession with Mayan culture.
Last night we watched premonition and carandiru, a sick movie about a brazilian prison. Another weird obsession of mine.
Prisons.
Everything to do with prisons.
The gangs, the culture, the storys, the police.
I love love love it.
When i was in Ireland i couldnt get enough of those prison documentarys that were always on.
Locked up, Lockdown, Behind bars, Women behind bars, there all just to delish.
Its my dream to be a prison warden or work with the police, Actually speaking of which.


The police here are complete dicks. The force is so fucked there has to be other police to keep the police in order. The majority of the military police are corrupt. Planting drugs in innocent cars then demanding bribes, then confiscating the drugs and snorting and smoking it in broad daylight. No thanks.
The all have guns and just shoot anyone and everyone. Drug trafficing is a huge problem and you cant trust anyone in this country.
So fucked up that i cant walk down the street at night without being mugged or raped or worse. I cant even talk in english in public because if some guys find out im not brazilian im fucked.

I want to come home, but im scared. After all the shit thats been going down over the past few months im scared to show my face in that fucking country again.
I miss my family something hateful.I wish i could just sit and chat with my mum right now. Were thinking of coming home in september, im going to do an outdoor education instructer course, to teach people how to surf and skate an all that shit.
I love all that outdoor stuff. Its really something that i wanna do.
Fuck college.

Now i 100% cant go to bed, there aint no space.
He´s taking up all the bed, all 6´2 of him. Bastard.
Haha its too funny. Hes on this muscle building diet. Hes not eating any carbs.
Dinner was so funny i had loads of delsih rice and chips and a nice cold brahma.
And all he could eat is salad and lean meat.
Poor baby. I think were going to the gym tomorrow. Im going to school him as usual:) Before that though im gonna go relax by the pool and work on my tan while he´s at work.

My life is too delsih.
Thank you prozac